Thursday, October 28, 2010

Mr. A's review of....Tetsuo: The Iron Man

The Story
While driving though an industrial district somewhere in Tokyo, a middle-aged salary-man and his over-sexed girlfriend accidentally run over a strange man who (unknown to them) enjoys shoving pieces of metal into random open wounds. Trying to cover up this near-homicide, the salary-man's girlfriend convinces him to dump the body in the neighboring wooded areas.
Thinking that this particular nightmare is over, the salary-man goes back to his normal life of eating breakfast alone, riding the train to work, and boning his crazy-looking girlfriend.
That is until he discovers random pieces of metal growing out of his face. Drawn into a psychedelic world of insane dreams and murder, the salary-man must eventually do combat with the Metal Fetishist, the man whom he had hit with his car. What is the Fetishist's ultimate plan and can the salary-man stop it before he's totally consumed by metal?

The Review
I know I said in the last podcast that I didn't want to watch this film, but after all the hype and the third one probably hitting shores some time soon (the third also being the only one in the series that really piqued my interest), I figured I'd give it a shot. Probably not the best idea I've ever had...
The cinematography,while a great style to cover up the fact that this thing was shot for a dime, is almost unwatchable. The acting isn't all that great, but I suppose that in a film where most of the "acting" is yelling and freaking out there isn't much to hope for.
The plot is almost non-existent and whatever fragments you can pull out are usually bat-sh*t crazy anyway. It's almost like Tsukamoto Shinya (writer, producer, director, and Metal Fetishist) choked down a hand-full of pharmaceuticals before writing this script.

The Verdict
I can't honestly recommend this film to anyone, mostly because I can't see anyone I know actually liking it. I watched this with fellow podcaster Zyconis and within the first fifteen minutes he said "F*ck this" and started playing Minecraft.
If you're not a fan of art-house films or anything even REMOTELY close to those type of things, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS FILM!!!! It's a headache on celluloid with almost no redeeming qualities!
ALTHOUGH I do understand why people like this film. It's unique, trippy, and the last fight between the salary-man and the Fetishist is oddly cool. That being said, if you got a bottle of aspirin (or a bottle of Jack) and you want to experience something new, go ahead and give it a shot. It clocks in at a little over an hour so even if you don't like it you won't suffer horribly long.

I can't even give this thing a number...

Now here's hoping that Tetsuo: The Bullet Man isn't as bad as everyone says it is...I won't hold my breath though.

Jaa mata,
Mr. A
(Executive Producer, Tetsuo in training)

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